ROMEO AND JULIETTE
Japanese Version
Romeo and Juliette,
Went for noodles when they first met.
He ordered her the largest bowl,
Which pleased this kind and gentle soul.
Even though she loved this man,
He was from a different clan.
When her stomach grew large and round,
He wasn't anywhere to be found.
Her father said, "Since you can't marry,
Suggest that you do ‘hari-kari’!"
She cried, but she couldn’t be his wife,
And so, despondent, took her life.
Alas, as she lay dying on the floor,
Romeo came rushing through the door. '
Grief-stricken, he too fell on the sword.
Moral:
When you're in love, you're never bored.
ROMEO & JULIETTE #1
by Heironymous S. Anon-y-Mous
Romeo and Juliette ate,
A large pizza on their first date.
While Romeo his coffee slurped,
His Juliette uncouthly burped.
He said, "It's something Julie 'et,
I'da rather she'd ordered the spaget!"
Thus saved two lives, this bit of fate,
For they never had another date.
copyright 8/12/96 Howard. E. Morseburg
ROMEO SMITH (IV)
High School Jock
Romeo Smith was the greatest jock in town,
He was loved by all the girls aroun'.
But Juliette Jones was his lady love,
He was as true to her as the stars above.
They went to church every Sunday morn:
Their hearts were gold, they were Christians born.
They abided by the golden rule each day,
And they lived their lives in a moral way.
But temptation drew them too close one night
And from that time forth it just seemed right,
On Sundays they were at their very best,
But their passions flamed on all the rest.
They kept well their secret, and were doing just fine,
But on Juliette's waist there was a very bad sign.
It grew slowly in size, and in the wrong place,
An obvious problem they'd soon have to face.
For this was a sin that had often been preached,
The Garden of Eden once more had been breached!
Juliette's family couldn't stand the shame,
So she left their home, to absolve them of blame.
Romeo Smith his heart broken inside,
Searched for his love o'er the whole country wide.
It was whiskey that finally done him in,
---Just one more victim of original sin!
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ROMEO & JULIETTE
Spanish Version
Senor Romeo strolled through the park,
Then spied Juliette just after dark.
He whispered sweet words into her ear,
His one desire should have been clear.
He had no love for this young woman,
His advantage lay in that she was human.
First they embraced and then they kissed,
In passions grip not much was missed.
The Senorita at dawn went home,
And faced the wrath of Don Picon.
T’was a proud Spanish matador,
Who met his daughter at the door.
Too soon it was quite evident,
On that fateful eve how far things went.
For on that night she’d conceived a child,
The shame of it just drove him wild.
That Romeo! He’d challenge him to duel,
He’d have revenge on that young fool.
With swords they long fought in the park,
Then…his foil pierced the young man’s heart.
Moral:
If you bait the bull, then be the master,
If you're not, it's sure disaster.
ROMEO AND JULIETTE II
Italian Version
Oh, Romeo and Juliette,
Had a pizza when they first met,
He ordered her the largest pizza,
Which she thought was kind'a neat'za.
He took her for a moonlight ride,
And parked along the oceanside.
He was full of boyhood charm,
She thought his love could do no harm.
When her stomach grew round and firm,
He said, as he began to squirm,
"I think it's somethin' Julie 'et,
She should'a ordered the spaget'."
Her family never understood,
They were members of a dif'rent hood.
They would not let the lovers wed,
And from their wrath the young man fled.
In grief she chose to take her life,
With the family carving knife.
As she went on to her "here-after”,
He hung himself from a rafter.
+ + + + + + + +
The moral of this story's neat:
On your first date, kids, just don't eat!.
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