ODE TO MICHAEL DELL, II
by Howard E. Morseburg

I'll do a new poem each week for ol' Michael Dell, The CEO who's supposed to know how to sell, List' Michael, it's an easy decision to make, Just tell your guys to quickly rectify their mistake. I'm just wasting my time with this Windows ME, You owe me a Dimension with new Windows XP! Every few minutes a "Windows will now close," To tell you the truth, it's a real pain up my...nose!

Windows ME was the worst program from Bill Gates, And like a virus its spread through all fifty states. Like a tire with a bubble, it'll never be right, There were millions like me who were in the same plight, With Windows ME, Dell has given us the shaft. I know where it should go...right up to the haft! It's not fair to cheat people with Windows ME, And cheated they are, when it won't work properly!
I'd like to think well of the CEO at Dell, But he's rung my bell with this Computer from Hell! "Lexplore will now close" has popped up four times on screen, While writing this last verse, then erases it clean. Some gibberish appears, words that mean nothing to me, That's just one more day with Windows complexity. Oh, to leg-chain this computer to Michael Dell, And his sentence? "LIFE with that Computer from Hell!

Your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg

www.howardsviews.com
DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL! (Dell 6108BL01) by Howard E. Morseburg Attention, dear readers, and a story I’ll tell, ‘bout a Dell-vil computer that made my life Hell It’s a sad story that will surely make you cry Or perhaps hang your-self from a rafter on high. With its’ Windows ME, I’ve been nailed to the Cross! It hangs around my neck like a dead albatross, I’ve suffered the mistakes of Corporate Dell, When that firm sent me that computer from Hell.
It has a Dell-vilish fickle mind of its own I’ve had every problem for which ME’s been known. “MSIMN will now close” it says it once again, “Lexplorer will now close;” has given me great pain. Time and again my efforts are blocked Because Windows ME is so firmly locked. Restart your computer; for a minute…all’s well, But again it locks up, that computer from Hell.
Your trusted friend, Windows, is guilty of the sin It’s like fighting a war, but the enemy’s within! As eighty years approaches; my life’s ending draws nigh My last wish is a computer that works…‘fore I die, One that’s dependable as it ever can be, One that’s not suffering from Windows sickly ME Three years I’ve been tortured as if in Saddam’s grim cell, Trying to make use of that computer from Hell!

Three years I’ve suffered, three years I have sworn, Where there wasn’t a curse-word, a new one was born. They tell me that I should uninstall Microsoft M-E Then reinstall the same one now troubling me! If I were Mister Michael, I’d sure die of shame That such a computer bore the family name I’ve taken time to write letters to Michael Dell, Complaining to him ‘bout that computer from Hell. Copyright 5/28/04 WWW.YEOLDECODGER.COM

A FRUITFUL MEETING
I met a lady-friend at the market today,
So we stopped and chatted 'fore going on our way,
We discussed the hot weather, then some mutual friends,
You know how such things go before the talking ends.
Then she brought up a subject that really rang my bell;
She had recently bought a computer from Dell!
I said, "I guess you're up to date with Windows XP,
So you're happy with your Dell as anyone can be!"
“Well, that's what you'd think,” she said with a frown,
“But while I'd like to be writing, my computer's still down.
The keyboard just won't work, the plug-in doesn't match,
It seems they sent one from a 1999 batch.
And talking to Texas, they can't get it right,
So now I'm involved in the nastiest fight."
It seems she had faith in the ads run by Dell,
So, now she's got one of those Computers from Hell.
I soon bid her ‘good day’, and I rushed home to write;
I now had a topic for a new poem tonight!

Ode to Michael Dell Copyright 9/8/04 h.e.morseburg --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ODE TO MICHAEL DELL #14 I have some special news for you, What do you think that Dell would do? Do you think that they'd have the gall In each computer to install Spyware so that they might find Whether you've had a change of mind
And changed awful Windows ME,
Replaced it with Windows XP?
Improving your Computer from Hell,
Bearing the name of Texan Dell!
You may find you've spyware within
Or I belong in the looney bin.
I may be wrong, but I suspect
Spyware hidden if you but check.
Or else crafted...a timely mine
To cause problems that'll prove devine.
The Messenger comes straight from Hell,
Could it be from MS or Dell?
Three years I've had of suffering
And now they threaten buffering!
It affects all, just wait and see,
Except that shameful ol' ME.
Am I about to lose my work
Because I think that he's a jerk.
He stuck me with a program which...
Makes me think he's one son-of-a-????
ODE TO MICHAEL DELL Michael, m’boy, you’ve screwed up my life, That Dell computer’s like a naggin’ wife, It’s always complainin’ that somethin’s wrong, It’s always whinin’ that same old song. When you installed that old Windows ME, What it needed then was Windows XP. To me M-E is unreliable, And I think you’re totally liable. Brandon has advised me to remove ME, And just install again….what? Windows ME! One day it can cause a FATAL stroke, But FATALS a word that’s used by you folk. Or performed an illegal operation (That’s truly a scary aberration). A phrase that’s just a total abortion, By someone versed in mental contortion. Oh Michael, oh Michael, oh Michael lad, My story is long, my story is sad, This computer came from Corporate Dell, My computer from the bowels of Hell. Ever, your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg
16th of June, In the year of our Lord, 2004 Ode to Michael Dell #14