ODE TO MICHAEL DELL, II
by Howard E. Morseburg

I'll do a new poem each week for ol' Michael Dell,
The CEO who's supposed to know how to sell,
List' Michael, it's an easy decision to make,
Just tell your guys to quickly rectify their mistake.
I'm just wasting my time with this Windows ME,
You owe me a Dimension with new Windows XP!
Every few minutes a "Windows will now close,"
To tell you the truth, it's a real pain up my...nose!

Windows ME was the worst program from Bill Gates,
And like a virus its spread through all fifty states.
Like a tire with a bubble, it'll never be right,
There were millions like me who were in the same plight,
With Windows ME, Dell has given us the shaft.
I know where it should go...right up to the haft!
It's not fair to cheat people with Windows ME,
And cheated they are, when it won't work properly!

I'd like to think well of the CEO at Dell,
But he's rung my bell with this Computer from Hell!
"Lexplore will now close" has popped up four times on screen,
While writing this last verse, then erases it clean.
Some gibberish appears, words that mean nothing to me,
That's just one more day with Windows complexity.
Oh, to leg-chain this computer to Michael Dell,
And his sentence? "LIFE with that Computer from Hell!

Your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg

 

www.howardsviews.com

DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL!
(Dell 6108BL01)
by Howard E. Morseburg
 
Attention, dear readers, and a story I’ll tell,
‘bout a Dell-vil computer that made my life Hell
It’s a sad story that will surely make you cry
Or perhaps hang your-self from a rafter on high.
With its’ Windows ME, I’ve been nailed to the Cross!
It hangs around my neck like a dead albatross,
I’ve suffered the mistakes of Corporate Dell,
When that firm sent me that computer from Hell.

It has a Dell-vilish fickle mind of its own
I’ve had every problem for which ME’s been known.
“MSIMN will now close” it says it once again,
“Lexplorer will now close;” has given me great pain.
Time and again my efforts are blocked
Because Windows ME is so firmly locked.
Restart your computer; for a minute…all’s well,
But again it locks up, that computer from Hell.

Your trusted friend, Windows, is guilty of the sin
It’s like fighting a war, but the enemy’s within!
As eighty years approaches; my life’s ending draws nigh
My last wish is a computer that works…‘fore I die,
One that’s dependable as it ever can be,
One that’s not suffering from Windows sickly ME
Three years I’ve been tortured as if in Saddam’s grim cell,
Trying to make use of that computer from Hell!

Three years I’ve suffered, three years I have sworn,
Where there wasn’t a curse-word, a new one was born.
They tell me that I should uninstall Microsoft M-E
Then reinstall the same one now troubling me!
If I were Mister Michael, I’d sure die of shame
That such a computer bore the family name
I’ve taken time to write letters to Michael Dell,
Complaining to him ‘bout that computer from Hell.
 
Copyright 5/28/04
WWW.YEOLDECODGER.COM
 



A FRUITFUL MEETING

I met a lady-friend at the market today,
So we stopped and chatted 'fore going on our way,
We discussed the hot weather, then some mutual friends,
You know how such things go before the talking ends.
Then she brought up a subject that really rang my bell;
She had recently bought a computer from Dell!
I said, "I guess you're up to date with Windows XP,
So you're happy with your Dell as anyone can be!"
“Well, that's what you'd think,” she said with a frown,
“But while I'd like to be writing, my computer's still down.
The keyboard just won't work, the plug-in doesn't match,
It seems they sent one from a 1999 batch.
And talking to Texas, they can't get it right,
So now I'm involved in the nastiest fight."
It seems she had faith in the ads run by Dell,
So, now she's got one of those Computers from Hell.
I soon bid her ‘good day’, and I rushed home to write;
I now had a topic for a new poem tonight!

 
Ode to Michael Dell  Copyright 9/8/04 h.e.morseburg
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
ODE TO MICHAEL DELL #14
 
I have some special news for you,
What do you think that Dell would do?
Do you think that they'd have the gall
In each computer to install
Spyware so that they might find
Whether you've had a change of mind
And changed awful Windows ME,
Replaced it with Windows XP?
Improving your Computer from Hell,
Bearing the name of Texan Dell!
You may find you've spyware within
Or I belong in the looney bin.
I may be wrong, but I suspect
Spyware hidden if you but check.
Or else crafted...a timely mine
To cause problems that'll prove devine.
The Messenger comes straight from Hell,
Could it be from MS or Dell?
Three years I've had of suffering
And now they threaten buffering!
It affects all, just wait and see,
Except that shameful ol' ME.
Am I about to lose my work
Because I think that he's a jerk.
He stuck me with a program which...
Makes me think he's one son-of-a-????
ODE TO MICHAEL DELL
 
Michael, m’boy, you’ve screwed up my life,
That Dell computer’s like a naggin’ wife,
It’s always complainin’ that somethin’s wrong,
It’s always whinin’ that same old song.
When you installed that old Windows ME,
What it needed then was Windows XP.
To me M-E is unreliable,
And I think you’re totally liable.
Brandon has advised me to remove ME,
And just install again….what? Windows ME!
One day it can cause a FATAL stroke,
But FATALS a word that’s used by you folk.
Or performed an illegal operation
(That’s truly a scary aberration).
A phrase that’s just a total abortion,
By someone versed in mental contortion.
Oh Michael, oh Michael, oh Michael lad,
My story is long, my story is sad,
This computer came from Corporate Dell,
My computer from the bowels of Hell.
Ever, your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg
 
16th of June, In the year of our Lord, 2004
Ode to Michael Dell #14
 
 

BETRAYAL BY MICHAEL DELL AND BILL GATES

The dishonesty and chicannery that can exist in a Corporate structure, how many people can be involved, and how long it can go on without detection today, just befuddles my mind.  There are those who work with large  companies who will out-right lie for them, apparently in fear of their jobs were they to be overheard telling the truth and lose their jobs because they dared be honest..  My travails began when I succuumbed to the cajoles and entreaties (Ads) to buy my next computer from Dell, and so I did.  It was a model #         , with the software, Windows ME.  Almost from the start I had trouble with that program, and I had to keep calling my local Guru to obtain information, or to have him visit my home and figure out what had gone wrong with it.  I complained and I wrote eMails, and I had friends and r elatives who also gave me assistance.  I lost hours, days, even a week at one point, but I began to hear nasty things about ME, and several people told me that, "Howard, ME is an unstable program.  It never should have been put on the market until all the bugs were worked ouit of it.  It is the WORST program that Microsoft ever put out."  In the meantime I heard all sorts of good things about Windows XP, or that I should have Windows 2000, which was a good, solid work platform, but NO, NO, NO, not ME.  Yet Microsoft continued to market it, and Dell and other continued to install and sell it, causing millions of non-professional compouter users untold probloems, hours and hours of frustrations.  That, in itself, is criminal! 

If instead of software, it were a metal device, used as a part on a car, they would have had to recall every single car and install new parts and extend the warranty!  Bill Gates and Microsoft would have been headlined across the country, and so would  Micheal Dell, and punished or penalized for their failures.  Michael Dell should have fought hard on behalf of those who bought his machines, because it made them perform badly, and this reflected upon both him and his company.  He was as derelict in his responsibilities as was the esteemed Bill Gates, that's for certain.  But, do billionaires really have a conscience?  Perhaps, but not in making money, only, poerhaps in what to do with it afterwards and what they can put their name on in order to appear to be socially responsible. 

Think of the millions of people who were frustrated, the billions of hours of production lost, the billions of dollars spent simply trying to keep the program up and running.  I call that FRAUD.  Bill Gates and Melinda run around the world trying to solve the world's needs, but here at home, Microsoft was betraying those who make them their money and working in collusion with Michale Dell to sell every damn copy of an unstable, faulty, lousey product thatr fell far short of expectations for them and for us.  But, the responsibility was theirs!  Billionaires, who with a wave of their hand could have made things right.

THE ELDERLY: It was about this time that more and more of the elderly were trying to udnderstand the Internet, and buying computers.  Some had very small incomes, but they had to sacrifice in order to get help, $35 to $50 a pop.  That was e4lderly abuse, elder fraud, courtesy Bill's Gates' Microsoft and Michael Dell's Dell Computer.  But what do you care when your billions buy you Kingly splendor?

Yes, Windows ME was a laugh (if you didn't have it inst alled in your computer, a royal shafting by Gates and Ell, perhaps a conspriacy to defaud.  I asked for Dell to give me a coyy of XP, or even  Windows 2000, but they refused.

Do we need more government oversight? more government in our lives? overseeing every little detal?  Well, from the actions of Dell Computer and Gates' Microsoft, otviously we do.  I hate the thought of it, but they deserve billying powerful Washington types looking over their shoulders at all times; they're not loath to lie, deceive and cheat to public the way I see it.

Morbid Poems for Morbid People

1.  Romeo and Juliette Series

2.  Emma and Me.  Morbid Poems

3.  Morbid Poems

4.  More Morbid Poems (Denise)

5.  More Morbid Poems

6.  Politically Correct - ASU

7. Romeo and Juliette

8.  The Gamblin' Man

9.  Ode to Michael Dell

10. Santa Loses Rudolf to the SPCA

THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT BONES

Instead of training our children to be such a lot of oversenstive sniveling whining little ninnies, why don't we teach them mental toughness, put some strong fiber in their bones. 

The three most important bones in your body are: A backbone to stand up to people, a jawbone to talk back to people, and, a funny bone to laugh at foolish remarks 

Howard E. Morseburg